Let There Be Light

VOTE

2010-11-25T13:48:00.000Z

Hey,

It's been a while... It feels wierd to be writting again! I'm sorry I've been so silent, but i've been travelling for 3months now and it was almost impossible to write.

Anyway, I have a friend that sent me a message telling me there is a couple that started a blog where people can vote wether they should have their baby or not.

Thats the message: "We live in a democracy, right? So Pete and Alisha Arnold of Apple Valley have decided to let you cast your vote on whether or not Alisha should have an abortion.
The clock is ticking, by the way. They say the last day she can legally terminate her pregnancy is Dec. 7."

Needless to say im counting on you to vote "give birth"...

I know the whole concept is a little wierd but this baby has a right to live and if we can help him we sould do everything we can...

Thank you for your help and talk to you soon hopefully

Apparition de la Sainte Vierge - 02.09.2010

2010-09-07T21:48:00.002+01:00

Message du 2 septembre 2010 à Mirjana

Chers enfants ! Je suis auprès de vous car je désire vous aider à surmonter les épreuves que ce temps de purification place devant vous. Mes enfants, l'une d'elle est de ne pas pardonner et de ne pas demander pardon. Chaque péché blesse l'amour et vous éloigne de lui -- et l'amour, c'est mon Fils ! C'est pourquoi, chers enfants, si vous voulez marcher pas à pas avec moi vers la paix de l'amour de Dieu, vous devez apprendre à pardonner et à demander pardon. Je vous remercie.

Is that the best you can come up with?

2010-06-16T11:00:00.067+01:00

So that is the easy justification people have for the priests that abused children...

- It's because of the celibacy vow..

And I'm like, ok really, are you serious? Waw, smart!

So let me ask you this...
-what do you do with the 100 of thousands of priests that actually observe the vow? do they count for nothing?
-so what about the fathers that rape their kids? no celibacy there...
-rapists are mentally deranged psychopaths right?
-so now, what does celibacy have to do with rapes?

you know, priesthood is a vocation. You don't decide you want to be a priest you are called to be a priest.

So trust me, if you have the vocation Jesus gives you the strength to respect and observe your vow.

Beyond Appearances II

2010-06-15T11:00:00.040+01:00

I read this book, that I highly recommend (of course): Rome Sweet Home, written by Scott and Kimberly Hahn. This book helped me much better understand the differences between protestants and catholics. It's basically a testimony. I recommend the book, however I think, not sure, it is more appropriate and better suited for people that actually do believe in God.

Anyway, there are two things I read that I wanted to share. They aren't to do with the focus of the book at all, but i'll leave that for you to read if you are interested, what I want to mention has to do with my previous post:

1. Scott Hahn (university teacher) observes that most of his catholic students don't really understand their faith even in its base...

2. According to Mgr Fulton Sheen, no more than a 100 americans would hate the catholic Church
BUT millions to hate the false idea they have of the church.

I think its true, because if you take me for example, who received a catholic education no doubt about me not understanding my faith. And even though 2. doesn't apply to me as I never hated the Church, I can relate partly to the idea of his remark as the fact that I didn't understand some very important points made me disagree with the Church, and criticize some of its stands.

Beyond Appearances

2010-06-14T02:10:00.002+01:00

The thing is most people that criticize religion or catholicism do so because they don't know much about it so they just talk without knowing. They base their opinion on what they hear, what the media tells them, how some live their religion, what they think they know about it.

However, they do not dig any deeper, they criticize something they don't know or don't understand just because they can't be bothered. They let stories like the sex abuse scandals define catholicism.

But these scandals don't have to do with the integrity of the Church or the roots of catholicism.
Yes it is a terrible serious, atroce crime but no the church is not to blame for that, those criminals are responsible not catholicism.

It's like blaming parents for a kid that would not apply what his parents taught him. Ok, lets say you have a family of five, the parents love them all equally and personally but somehow 1 of the 5 kids doesn't love his parents. So he doesn't apply all the good things his parents taught him. But it's not because one of the five kids does bad things that the parents and the foundation of the education should be questioned.

(ok, as you can imagine, very sensitive subject analysed by a 24 year old!!! so the relevance can be questioned but giving my point of view!)

Andrea Bocelli tells a Little story about Abortion

2010-06-10T14:35:00.000+01:00

Priests and Mass

2010-06-03T03:07:00.001+01:00

It's funny when I look at my evolution regarding mass.

Every time I think about this it astonishes me how He's changed me. Not more than 6 months ago, I used to be scared of confession, similar scary to going to the dentist.
I used to not like priests just as you can dislike a teacher.

Now it's the opposite. I see confession for what it really is, an amazing gift, an opportunity to start over every time I fall, an occasion to reflect on my bad actions, to repent, the chance to be forgiven, etc.

And I love love going to mass! First of all, the luxury of having brilliant and wise men sharing their knowledge, views on the Gospel as well as the privilege of the Eucharist...

(I know I'm not expressing myself right but its the best I can get out of me)

(Mass) It really is unexplainable how amazing it feels to be with people that you know understand you and live the same beauty your living.
Especially seing young people.
When I lived in London I would always see many business people going to daily mass during their lunch break or after work and here in Geneva seeing students... It makes me happy as if it was a personal gift.

It gives great hope to see young people attend to mass.

Finally just want to share something the priest said today during the "homelie", it was really beautiful!

He said that priests and nones are here on earth to give us the "crave" for Paradis. They are supposed to make us want to go to Heaven. So He said: "if that's not the way you feel you should tell us!"

You see, they offer their lives to serve God and consequently help humans...

Plant a Tree

2010-05-31T11:02:00.003+01:00

So this has nothing to do with the topic, but i signed up for this initiative... As they were saying: by having a blog I contribute to generating carbon.

Ixpo's initiative is trying to do something about all this carbon release. By adding this ‘Carbon Positive Blog’ button’s to my page, Ixpo will plant a tree for me!!

http://www.ixpo.com/plant-a-tree/

El Circo de la Mariposa

2010-05-27T03:37:00.008+01:00

So this is a short film / court-metrage again producer and actor Eduardo Verastegui and Nick Vujicic actor also...

Its about human dignity.

What stands out most to me is the contrast of how someone can be seen from two completely different angles...
The negative one could be at some level how you see yourself or others make you feel
The positive is really how God sees us. It shows us how each and everyone of us really is here for a reason.

God makes no mistake (I think it was Nick Vujicic saying)

So no, you're not here by mistake

And yes we are all here for a reason, but its up to you to decide if you wanna know your purpose

(anyway, have to go, its time for oraciones por la vida! so I will leave you with the court-metrage, enjoy)

1ST PART:

2ND PART:

(indeed, dinosaure me just found out how to add videos to my posts so i'm like a little kid playing with her new toy)

Abortion = Murder

2010-05-27T03:12:00.001+01:00

So back to Eduardo Verastegui's battlefield...

during the congreso, he was explaining how abortion has killed more people than any war or genocide. Remember the figures i gave you, I think it was 4000 an hour and a few millions a year...

once you have a baby, its not just about you anymore, who are you to decide if someone else should live or not?

Especially when a baby is the most amazing gift in life, a beautiful miracle and if your too selfish to accept such a gift well just don't put yourself in that risky situation...

It's not ok to kill someone just because he's more vulnerable, you wouldn't kill a mute
It's not ok to kill someone just because you don't see him, you wouldn't hire someone to kill someone else

when you think of you yourself, your the same person now that when you were in your mum's womb. You were already alive then, just weaker and more dependent on your mother. But it was you.
What would you think if your parents had killed you then?

Here's a video that illustrates well how abortion is murder, i wasn't able to finish it though, the images are really really hard, which is why i did not put it as a video here but just put the link! Playing it safe. Coward me!

Donc âmes sensibles, s'abstenir...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9GDSNYnnjmE

From Pro-Choice to PRO-LIFE

2010-05-27T02:29:00.001+01:00

So one of the speakers at UNIDOS POR LA VIDA was Abby Johnson, here's a video that mini summarizes what she shared during the congreso.

The movie speaks for itself. It shows you how abortion is not ok, never

http://www.youtube.com/watch#!v=EwGtlkTw4Hg&feature=related

MOBILISATION!!

2010-05-26T12:12:00.003+01:00

Hy, so I'm going to have to ask a little something of you!

I need you to listen to the soldier that's inside of you!

So there is this "facebook event"; it's basically an association in Madrid that has decided to call up the troups!

When?
30TH OF MAY "Sunday of the Roses"

Aim?
They want to offer a 1'000'000 AVEMARIAS to the Virgin Mary

What do I need to do?
just send them an email saying how many Hail Marys you are willing to do And then of course DO THE HAIL MARY on the 30th of MAY (even if its just one)...

Email: cofradiarosario@gmail.com
(if you don't wanna send an email i guess its ok, as long as it reaches the Queen of Queens)

If you want to see the event (in spanish):

http://www.facebook.com/#!/event.php?eid=112714292103534

For those who don't believe in the Virgin Mary do it for God and if you don't believe in God do it for the the part inside of you thats saying: "what if she was right??"
(She = me the messenger i mean!)

THANK YOU SO MUCH, I REALLY AM VERY GREATFUL

Hail Mary, full of grace,
the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God,
pray for us sinners,
now and at the hour of our death.

Amen.

Je vous salue, Marie, comblée de grâce,
Le Seigneur est avec vous.
Vous êtes bénie entre toutes les femmes,
et Jésus, le fruit de vos entrailles, est béni.
Sainte Marie, Mère de Dieu,
priez pour nous, pauvres pécheurs,
maintenant et à l'heure de notre mort.

Amen.

Apparition de la Sainte Vierge - 25.05.2010

2010-05-26T11:30:00.000+01:00

Medjugorje, Message of May 25, 2010

“Dear children! God gave you the grace to live and to defend all the good that is in you and around you, and to inspire others to be better and holier; but Satan, too, does not sleep and through modernism diverts you and leads you to his way. Therefore, little children, in the love for my Immaculate Heart, love God above everything and live His commandments. In this way, your life will have meaning and peace will rule on earth. Thank you for having responded to my call.”

Why did I open now?

2010-05-26T04:59:00.003+01:00

You know, i was thinking today, and i think God knocked many times on my door before I decided to open in January...

The moment I remember most is when i went to Medjugorge (a long time ago but not quite sure when, major memory loss issues! I'm like the human version of Doris)

i felt something at the time, where i knew He existed so I don't get why i just decided to not fight and inform myself more and left myself instead just forget all about it...

I would be tempted to say i was too young or not mature enough but then I hear that Nick Vujicic Knew at age 15 so don't think it has to do with age

I don't know i'm quite lost!! Anyway, learn from my mistakes! and if you hear Him, even if its a very discret knock open cause their is no point in delaying the understanding of life's biggest mysteries! trust me, no point

Hit the Breaks!

2010-05-26T04:01:00.005+01:00

You know the hard part about this is that their is nothing I can say to prove that I am right... But anyway, if I could prove it it wouldn't be called faith so its not the question i guess

But its like if I was watching at most of the people I love drive straight into a wall. I'm screaming telling them that there's a wall but I am too far for them to hear me...

So you see how i'm feeling! all i can do is pray and share and be patient (still not!) and the rest is in God's hand..

(and your commitment also a little bit, of course! i'm not gonna let you stay on your couch and not say anything!)

my job is to scream
your job is to acknowledge the possibility that their is a wall
God's job is to open your eyes so that you can actually see the wall

(however i am completely optional in the equation, it can perfectly be just you and Him)

Communication Barrier

2010-05-26T03:45:00.001+01:00

When I said it was amazing to witness others fighting for the same cause i'm fighting for you really can't imagine how comforting it is...

Cause since I was revealed the greatness of God I feel I speak a foreign language that most of the people I know can't understand. There's like this massive communication barrier!!

And they try but they must just think I'm crazy! I mean I totally understand I used to be like them...

But that's why I appreciate so much seeing others fighting (much stronger than me btw)

it like, charges my batteries!

Learning to walk

2010-05-26T03:37:00.001+01:00

So right now, what i'm working on is to not be embarrassed of my faith cause its been fairly easy so far, i'm like behind my screen not having to face anyone, but when I go to my daily mass and I bump into a friend of mine I always invent an excuse for where I'm going. I have a hard time admitting, so ridiculous, I know trust me! But I can't help it!

This is an example of one of my objectives!

UNIDOS POR LA VIDA

2010-05-26T03:17:00.004+01:00

So I mentioned Eduardo Verastegui earlier, for those who don't know him he's a mexican actor/singer/producer/many things/servant of God

An accomplished soldier!

He's played and (co)produced (not sure!) the movie Bella a really beautiful movie btw, you have to see it!!

So he's had a major conversion a little less than 10 years ago and to keep it short he's now fighting for life, fighting against abortion...

That's his battlefield (one of them actually)!

And on sunday he organised this open to public "congreso" in LA (the first one) and had invited people to share their story / testimony (in relation to abortion)

I was lucky enough to see the whole event live on his website (www.mantodeguadalupe.org )

I mean you can't imagine what it was like, so inspiring, so touching... i mean! you can't imagine; obviously as i can't seem to be able to express it!!

you know, it's beautiful to see others fighting for the same things and the same God you're fighting for, especially when you're a little isolated in your fight like i am (normal, i'm a baby soldier, i've joined the army only 4 months ago so i need to learn how to walk before i start using my sword!)

Princess and Warrior

2010-05-25T01:23:00.003+01:00

Nick Vujicic made this so amazing/so true observation about children...

If you don't know him you absolutely have to see this video he's the most inspiring person of all...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4uG2kSdd-4

DURING THE TALK:

Why does every little 3 year old girl wants to be a princess? he says.

well because we are all God's children

And God is the King of Kings,

and the daughter of a king is a princess so as daughters of God we are princesses...

So more than aspiring to be a princess we aspire to be God's daughters

And why does every 3 year old boy wants to be a warrior and fight?

- I actually don't remember - (will tell you once i buy all the talks!! gonna have to do a little homework here!)

(very very simplified but dont really remember it exactly, obviously remember better the part that concerns me, I told you I was selfish!!)

Hey Soldier!

2010-05-25T01:08:00.000+01:00

Hey soldier, the battlefield or your couch?

Are you ready to fight for happiness or do you need some more time? it's all a question of being ready!!

We all have been created and chosen by God for a greater purpose and we are all His soldiers... The fight is a spiritual one but it gets really rewarding when you win a battle...

Unfortunately can't say much more about this because right now, its too hard to explain!!

Humans Fooled: Check

2010-05-25T00:44:00.001+01:00

We have been fooled yet again!

First, I just have this request: Can you please take a moment to think about happiness, and your interpretation or view of it.. (indeed back to happiness!)

Now, thats what I think:
So we have been fooled into thinking that we needed to create happiness and that happiness was related to tangibles. And that it was only possible through material things (either objects or actual people)..

When actually, happiness is within us, its part of us...

So the greater your efforts to create it, the greater you distance yourself from it

The more you invest your time and soul into creating happiness, the less time you have to sit and listen

La quète

2010-05-25T00:29:00.001+01:00

YOu remember how I said I used to compare giving money during mass to a sectarian habit?

The more I think about it the more ashamed I am to have thought such a thing...

First of all, ridiculous that i ever thought such a thing especially as you are not forced to give and that if you decide to give, you can give the amount you want...

But also, I mean priests deserve all the money in the world for what they do...

They sacrifice their life to help God save people, "ils administrent le corps du Christ aux fidèles", they teach us the most beautiful things in this world

Vocations

2010-05-25T00:17:00.000+01:00

Now I have another question for you...

How can you explain catholic priests, sisters, consecrates etc (they are humans just like you and me)?

So how can you explain they would give up on marriage and affection?

Without God's grace it wouldn't be possible, would it?

Le Pretre des Loubards

2010-05-25T00:09:00.004+01:00

I was reading this book written by Guy Gilbert: Lutte et aime la ou tu es, a priest that has dedicated his life to help children that didnt have anywhere else to go like the "racaille française" that got kicked out of their home or something. He said this thing that i pretty much agree with... but i cant remember how he said it and really dont want to alter his observation.

So thats how I remember it, my interpretation (About believing in the Bible, God, The Virgin Mary, Jesus,..):

For the people that believe religion is creation of men, think.

Do you think we would have been able to invent someone so perfect in every way, so patient, merciful, loving etc etc etc x 100000 to the infinit...

We humans, we would have invented a Jesus that was materially rich we would have never came up with such human perfection, we would not have reinvented the word rich

You can only understand what I mean if you read the "nouveau testament". Only then can you see what I mean and realize that we would not have been able to invent such a pure and just and loving person. I can't explain its something you have to read to understand...

Please enlighten me!!!

2010-05-24T23:56:00.006+01:00

If God does not exist how would you justify...

-our good conscience?
-the Holy Bible?
-Miracles?

If the Virgin Mary does not exist how would you justify...

-Her apparitions?
-The healing of the sick in places where she has given apparitions such as Lourdes, Fatima, Medjugorge, la rue du Bac, Salette etc?
-The stories like the one of the big killer Fourniret and the almost victim Marie (13 y. old)

If Jesus does not exist how would you justify...

-the stigmatised such as Brother Elie or St Francois d'Assise?
-the Holy Fire?
-The Eucharist

And if you recognise that there is pure evil in this world you have to acknowledge that pure good also exists...

amazing video that you have to see on a miracle of the eucharist:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=qbg_dhI4XCs

Moreover!

2010-05-24T23:52:00.000+01:00

You see what's even more sad is that when people turn their back at us or hurt us (due to our faith) its that actualy their turning their back on Jesus.

So what I think is that we should never hold it against them but just pray that they one day receive the same gift you did.

Because when your as lucky as I am, and that you know and understand what I know and understand then you can only feel sorry for the mean and bad people. Because you know how much hurting they must be going through by living far away from God.

I know this because before God I was not that good of a person (even though I did manage to deceive some people!) and as you may already know I was unhappy!

And now, I fight hard to love everyone even the ones I don't and I am over the moon happy, I didn't think it was humanly possible to feel this way..

Post Tenebras Lux

2010-05-24T23:35:00.002+01:00

I've had people tell me that the people that know God can be too pushy sometimes. I used to think so too.
But the thing is, when you finally see the light you really wish that all would see it too. And the only way to help the blinds is to talk about Him. Besides praying for them that they one day will accept the same gift you've acepted.

Its humanly impossible to just stay silent, as i said before, its like if I had discovered a cure that would heal people with HIV, of course you want people to know about it, you don't wanna keep it for yourself...

And its hard because, we who know, are constantly facing people that don't understand us..

But i've taken the decision to STOP BEING SELFISH (cause i was, even though i fought so hard with my little sister to deny this ;))

So I try my best to stop thinking about me. Instead I chose to serve God and in that way I will give the chance to people to experience what I experience constantly... I will allow Him to give a chance to help people understand, and to see how beautiful God is.

You see, we want to share the love and that's why we may sometimes come across as extreme!

Winks

2010-05-24T22:56:00.002+01:00

beautiful like He answers me when I let Him...

Saturday (the day before i had to hand in my dissertation), i went to holy hour which is followed by mass.
I was really lazy about staying for mass. Since it was the 6pm mass it ment it was the sunday mass and i was like oh, don't feel like staying for one hour (weekdays masses are like half an hour) when i'll attend to the "same" mass the next day...

then, i ended up staying telling myself to stop being such a child (good move)!

why good move?

Because during holy hour i was asking God: if You have chosen me to help You why am i like this and not like this, why am I not more outgoing etc etc, like 100 questions coming to my head thinking and i really couldn't get why...

And then comes mass, and the 1st reading: Corinthiens 12, which says:

"Therefore I tell you that no one who is speaking by the Spirit of God says, "Jesus be cursed," and no one can say, "Jesus is Lord," except by the Holy Spirit.

There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit. There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. There are different kinds of working, but the same God works all of them in all men."

it speaks for itself so won't add anything...

Except to those who would wanna call this a coincidence: as Eduardo Verastegui would call it "No es coincidencia es Diosidencia"

Taking the Gifts Further

2010-05-24T19:36:00.001+01:00

I am going to try to further explain what I mean by: "Each and every one of us is responsable for every thing thats going on today, ie. war, rape etc and natural catastrophes"

when denying God; God the almighty we are blocking all the graces He would be sending if we acknowledged His greatness if we lived according to Him.

As we are free, He cannot force graces on us... And by denying Him or working against Him (un)knowingly we are causing all these disasters. It's like if a baby refused to be fed by his mother...

Good to be Back

2010-05-24T04:00:00.002+01:00

Oh God, how i've missed talking about you with you.

I have been deceived!

i thought that staying away from writing here would enable me to be more productive in regards to my dissertation...

So not!

Free Tip from "Twin"!

2010-04-20T23:27:00.002+01:00

So "Twin" told me this today:

"You have to be informed and know your religion to enforce your faith, cause knowing helps you get closer to God just like knowing your friend's life, actions and 'way of thinking' helps you get closer to them. When you read about your religion it helps you understand thus makes you believe more and feel closer to God."

Which is so true... I mean I was lucky to feel love for Him before reading about Him.

I remember seeing my mum read books about religion and thinking omg it must be so boring how can she read that kind of stuff (the d. put that in my head again, weak me!) but now that I do read im absolutely fascinated, it is fascinating and beautiful... and i think everyone would agree to that if they tried...

I mean I cant stop reading about it, to the point that I can't focus on my studies and my boring dissertation topic!

Thanks!

Set things Straight

2010-04-19T16:30:00.001+01:00

About the gifts...

I see what you might think... (And I might contradict myself there (not sure yet!) but its not clear 100% in my head yet... anyway will do my best)

And the truth is I think that more than a gift its an opportunity. Because I actually believe that the only ones responsable for all the misery this planet and humankind are going through is us, each and every one of us for believing Satan rather than God.

I mean yes, the bad took over the media and cinema so obviously he's got a strong card in hand but still we should listen to our conscience a little bit more because thats the Good talking to us.

Anyway, all of this to say that if we had been faithful these catastrophes wouldn't be happening but as they are we should see it as an opportunity to pray in order for it to stop.

It's never too late for God...

Our Freedom

2010-04-19T16:21:00.001+01:00

So when we say that God made us free, I think its more a question of being free to follow Him or follow the bad. Free to listen to Him or not.

Because if you decide to listen to Him your life is more or less "tracée". He knows where He wants to bring you, He knows best whats best for you.
But for every decision you make in life you always have the choice to choose Him or the d.
That is our freedom. But if every time you have to make a choice you choose the good well you've freely decided to follow Him.

Anyway that is my interpretation of freedom

I came up with that after asking my cousin to explain to me why I couldn't feel the way I did durning the weekend in Heaven for the rest of my life? Why did I have to go back to feeling just like me but happier. Happy but not ecstatic anymore.

She told me that that was all the beauty of freedom. That that was God's gift to us. That if I always felt the way I did during my weekend I wouldn't even consider letting myself influence by the bad... But it would mean losing my freedom.

And as God loves us so much, He wants us to come to Him willingly.
Cause during the weekend I was blinded by His love.

And now its my turn to prove to Him that I love Him and I am doing it freely... You see He respects us too much

Gifts

2010-04-19T16:19:00.001+01:00

So Hi!

I'm gonna take my thinking to another level with this one!

Get ready, I know already your gonna think I'm crazy! One day you'll see I wasn't...

I'm thinking that all the catastrophes going on in the world are gifts rather than, as some might see, a punishment.

Why?!

Because we all know (and I said it before) that people are more likely to pray when something is wrong in life. If you don't have faith you'll never thank God for something good that happend. However a non believer might pray as a last resort measure if something goes really wrong in his life.

And as we are turning more and more away from Him, He's sending us the opportunity to come back to Him. He wants to save us before its too late...

I mean you name it, it happened:
-economical/financial crisis
-wars
-hurricanes
-tsunamis
-earthquakes
-plane crash
-volcano
-climate change
-traffic

and the list goes on... its getting worse and worse...

And the sad thing is that the Virgin Mary is telling us through Her apparitions that in order for it to stop we need to pray and fast but nobody cares everyone is too busy thinking of how to make more profits...

And what really pains me is that the day you die you'll realise (for those who knew anyway) that we had the power to change things, that it would have been easy to change it and that we knew how we could have saved the planet and its occupants.

It was given in a silver platter and yet we chose to think of ourself...

(and again not judging cause the Virgin Mary has been talking to the visionaries for almost 20years and i'm only taking it seriously now)

So i'm really sad to see that we are so deep into sin

Reflexion on me!

2010-04-18T15:35:00.003+01:00

That is more something the people that really know me should reflect on!!

you know me as:
- very shy (still am!)
- really really very careful that everyone likes me and have a hard time accepting when people dont

So I have a question, would I risk not having people's approval (even from the people i love) and risk losing some of the people I love if I wasn't convinced God existed. Would I have taken the risk to be mocked by putting my "website" public on facebook?

I don't think so!! I've just decided to stop being selfish and think about my image and just decided to help others. Even if it only helps God to save 1 person its completely worth it...

Apparition de la Sainte Vierge - 18.03.2009

2010-04-18T14:16:00.002+01:00

Apparition annuelle du 18 mars 2009 à Mirjana

«Chers enfants, aujourd’hui je vous appelle à regarder sincèrement et longuement dans vos coeurs. Qu’allez-vous y voir? Où y est mon Fils et le désir de me suivre vers Lui? Mes enfants, que ce temps de renoncement soit le temps où vous vous demanderez : qu’attend mon Dieu de moi personnellement? Que dois-je faire? Priez, jeûnez, ayez le coeur plein de miséricorde. N’oubliez pas vos bergers. Priez pour qu’ils ne se perdent pas, qu’ils demeurent en mon Fils afin d’être de bons pasteurs pour leur troupeau.»

It's an older apparition but its really something I recommend you do. And If you don't its just "de la mauvaise foi" just take some time to listen to what He has to say by spending some time alone in silence, (no music etc.) nobody does that anymore which is why we don't know where to go...

Basically take some time alone in silence to listen to what He's telling you... Where you should go in life. Take some quiet time alone to figger out where you should head

Incomprehensible Human Being

2010-04-17T19:59:00.002+01:00

I don't get it, why is it that it took me so long to really devote some time to God especially considering I had a religious upbringing.

And I don't see why what I'm saying isn't convincing anyone!!

And why I still sometimes fear what He has in mind for me even though I know for a fact He has my best interest.

It drives me crazy! I mean I know who is behind all this doubt and fear but still!

Confession

2010-04-17T19:38:00.002+01:00

So i've had a few friends question confession and kind of mock it saying that how would my religion push you to be a better person if you're excused for everything you do and just commit the exact same sins over and over...

Well, that's not exactly how it works. First of all when you confess a sin, you are supposed to work hard not to commit it again. You have to really repent.

Also, through confession you receive a special grace from God that will help you be free of the sin.

So if you confess regularly you should see the fruits by sinning less.

However haven't practiced regularly enough to testify but i'll let you know!

Another PS: Prayer

2010-04-17T19:26:00.001+01:00

I think i might have said it already but just wanna make sure.

Don't remember that its "pointless" to pray if you don't mean it. Which is why discussion is good! Telling Him whats going on. However praying the "Pater", "Ave", or the "Credo" or any other is quite important but better to say one of each meaning it than do a whole rosary thinking of something else...

Its not about the quantity but all about the quality!!

For the Record

2010-04-17T19:21:00.003+01:00

I just wanna say, its not me being a roman catholic that "allows" me to believe in God. Its me being a human being. Its not a privilege I hold because i had a religious upbringing.
Faith in God is a gift we all received but not all were reminded of it.

As I said early in my journal, we have been created with a gap that only can fit God.

So I know that each and everyone of you has its share of unhappiness no matter how strongly you will deny it because as long as the gap is not filled that's how we feel.

I often wondered, why is it that the people i know seem to have everything to be happy (money, looks, loving family, brains, anyway, everything) and yet don't look happy, arn't happy, me included (before).

What went wrong? We lost faith!!

And whats crazy is that we don't wanna believe God is the key...

For the believers!

2010-04-17T16:18:00.004+01:00

I have a question for you too!!!

Do you really believe and trust Him or do you just think you do?

(I used to think I did, so not judging)

When I was telling my experience to some of my friends, about some topics, they would tell me I had a very naive view on the question and that I was pushing it too far...

Particular topic:
I believe we have 1 soulmate. I also believe that God will put mine in my life (if He has planned for me to live the sacrement of mariage of course)

And that's where people tell me im an illusionist some tell me I'm wasting my time waiting for him.

I believe what the Apostles Creed states and all of us catholics should its the foundation of our beliefs.

So thats my question:

If "I believe in God the Father Almighty, Maker of heaven and earth" how can I fear He will not put my soulmate into my life? How can you?

How can you think for just one second that the One who created Heaven and Earth would have any problem arranging for you to meet your soulmate?
So if you trust God as you should or as you say you do, you should never fear not finding the right person ever again.

And that is valid for everything. If He wanted to, He could change everything.

But He made us free, so in order for Him to make the world a better place, end all the ecological crisis, war, famine, misery, traffic etc we have to commit to Him. We have to want to change the world. He needs our OK (in other words, our prayers) to save the world.

As the Immaculate Conception said: "our freedom is our weakness"

For the non-believers!

2010-04-17T15:54:00.001+01:00

Let me ask you this question, if God did not exist, where would your good conscience come from?

And your first instinct might be to tell me its because of your environment, the law, your family etc.
But of course, I would have to ask you to think better.

Illustration:

Why do you know deep down abortion is bad/murder even though the law (maybe also your family...) says its ok?

(I just learn that in the US you can have an abortion up until your 9th month. (which for me, of course, is as bad as having an abortion after 1 day but just think i mean..))

Loin des Yeux, Loin du Coeur

2010-04-17T13:50:00.004+01:00

So we have this expression in french that means that when you don't see someone for long you just forget about that person.

Well, while I was reading the messages the Virgin Mary gave to the visionaries during the apparitions in Medjugorje I think I understood 2 very important things about conversion (a word she mentions alot)!

1. conversion is a decision you have to take. You have to make efforts. You have to take action. You have to pray as much as you can. etc. in order for it to happen

2. and once it does happen, its not like ok, i had a conversion i'm done, i'm ok now... which i thought was the case!
She says its a daily "exercise"
so regarding my conversion i thought amazing now i know for a fact God exists. I believe he can make anything happen and knowing that makes me wanna spend more time with Him. BUT I don't have to make a real effort to stay connected 100%. i thought that what happened to me in January was all i needed. and that I was safe from falling back to where i was before my conversion forever. And i was wrong.
Like if 1 day I don't make it to mass or am too lazy to pray, then little by little I part, at first I feel guilty and then without really realizing I lose my inner peace, my happiness...
So to get better I need to go back to being faithful again. And I do!

So it really is like a real human relationship, you have to constantly work hard on it or else you risk its falling apart.

And trust me, you really do feel the difference between being connected to Him or not...

here is her apparition regarding conversion on february the 25th - 1993 (sorry in french again):

"Chers enfants, aujourd'hui je vous bénis de ma bénédiction maternelle, et je vous invite tous à la conversion. Je désire que chacun de vous se décide à changer sa vie, et que chacun de vous travaille davantage dans l'Eglise, non par des paroles ni par la pensée, mais par l'exemple, afin que votre vie soit un joyeux témoignage de Jésus. Vous ne pouvez pas dire que vous êtes convertis, car votre vie doit devenir une conversion de chaque jour. Pour comprendre ce que vous devez faire, petits enfants, priez, et Dieu vous donnera ce que concrètement vous avez à faire et en quoi vous devez changer. Je suis avec vous, et je vous mets tous sous mon manteau. Merci d'avoir répondu à mon appel."

Apparition de la Sainte Vierge - 02.04.2010

2010-04-16T09:31:00.004+01:00

Les Enfants de Medjugorje 2010
Autorisation est donnée de diffuser ce texte sous deux conditions :
1°) ne changer aucun mot
2°) citer la source "Enfants de Medjugorje" ainsi que notre site en français http://www.enfantsdemedjugorje.com/
Nos adresses e-mail : french@childrenofmedjugorje.com

Chers enfants de Medjugorje, loués soient Jésus et Marie !

1 - Le 2 avril 2010, Mirjana reçut son apparition mensuelle à la Croix Bleue. A l'issue de l'apparition, elle nous transmit le message suivant : "Chers enfants,aujourd’hui je vous bénis de manière particulière et je prie afin que vous reveniez sur le vrai chemin, vers mon Fils, votre Sauveur, votre Rédempteur, celui qui vous a donné la vie éternelle. Réfléchissez à tout ce qui est humain, à tout ce qui ne vous permet pas de suivre mon Fils, les choses passagères, les imperfections et les limites; et ensuite, pensez à mon Fils, à son immensité divine. Par l’abandon et la prière, rendez votre corps noble et perfectionnez votre âme. Soyez prêts, mes enfants ! Je vous remercie."

found the english version!

"Dear children! In this special time of your effort to be all the closer to my Son, to His suffering, but also to the love with which He bore it, I desire to tell you that I am with you. I will help you triumph over errors and temptations with my grace. I will teach you love, love which wipes away all sins and makes you perfect, love which gives you the peace of my Son now and forever. Peace with you and in you, because I am the Queen of Peace. Thank you.”

Take abortion for example

2010-04-15T22:48:00.000+01:00

Why would killing someone be ok today?

Has anything changed in the creation of a being that i don't know of?

Do you realize you don't make sense?!

2010-04-15T22:44:00.000+01:00

I've heard so many people tell me: "Church should evolve, adapt to its time, be more permissive..." (and the list goes on)

If you think about it for 2 seconds you'll realize you're not making any sense. It would make religion and the Church a human invention.

Despite the increased spreading of the lie (= bad/d.) - partly thanks to media - what was for God yesterday still remains today.

(= ce qui valait pr Dieu hier vaut tjs aujourd'hui)

People (understandable due to this over exposure to media) don't understand that society hasn't got our best interest and that the Church does.

We are being lied to which explains why nobody manages to find peace and happiness.
Until God speaks to you...

Happiness, how?

2010-04-15T21:56:00.000+01:00

"Happiness is a gift through blessings not an achievement". (Abbot Christopher Jamison)

I can't save you!!

2010-04-14T16:49:00.001+01:00

I realized this sad thing: I thought I could save you with my experience.

But actually I can't, the only one that can offer you to experience what I have is the Lord.
So in the meantime i'll pray for you!

It's so frustrating for me because its so obvious and yet its not for you!

You see, its as if I was telling you that: 1+1=2 and that you would deny it. Or if I had found a cure for some terrible wide spread desease and that I knew could heal the sick but you wouldn't wanna try it out of fear.

I mean I 100% understand you cause I was just like you a few months ago but once Truth is revealed to you, its so hard to let the others remain in ignorance or denial...

Anyway, as i said, the best I can do, I know now, is pray for you all and eventually I know it will be fruitful I'll just have to be patient (patience is not a vertue I have acquired yet!! God will help me with that)

Anyway just so you know, I would advise you to thank Him already, and to ask Him to give you the Grace to trust Him

And remember to always thank Him even for the bad things that happen to you because you never know what good thing might result from what your going through

I really do trust He will save you sooner or later and talking to Him can only make it happen sooner...

Steve Jobs

2010-03-11T23:55:00.005Z

A friend of mine sent me this. I think you might find it interesting, i did!

Steve Jobs once said in a talk: "Keep looking, never settle, don't lose faith, you'll know when you find it".

well he was talking about professional life but you could apply it to almost anything... Also religion!

And indeed you'll know it when you find Him!

http://www.ted.com/talks/steve_jobs_how_to_live_before_you_die.html">http://www.ted.com/talks/steve_jobs_how_to_live_before_you_die.html

Depend on others

2010-03-11T23:52:00.001Z

Don't let your happiness depend on an other human.

Don't think another human can "save" you from your pain.

We are not that amazing!

However, a psychologist, a friend, a family member can help you understand things through a different perspective, personal experience, questions etc, things you might've never understood on your own. But they cannot cure your personal internal wound.

Only you with God can do it.

You see that was my mistake. When I started seeing my psychologist, she specifically told me to not depend on her, that i was the only one that had the power to cure myself.

I didn't listen and totally depended on her which is why i didn't get better. I learnt so many things which i will always remember but i did not try to work on myself the way I should've.
I put my hopes on her the way i should've put them on God, i was relying on her so badly.
So wrong. I see why now! In addition to not being possible to be saved by someone else, it will only disappoint you more as you see you are not getting better!

Its like the people that are in a relationship because they are "scared" to be alone. They depend on the other... They think its helping them but in the contrary its not because they are ignoring the problem and delaying the solving of it... Its like sewing a patch on a clothing with a hole. Your hiding/forgetting the problem but not solving it.

One day or the other you will have to face your wound if you want to be happy. So better do it faster.

Anyway not sure im saying it right!

Religion

2010-03-11T23:10:00.002Z

I don't know much, as i probably already said, about facts regarding the catholic history.

But i do know that (yes i have repeated it many many times but i truly want you to understand the meaning of it and i want you to reflect on the word) we cannot forget the most important fact in religion being to love unconditionally and to stop judging.

Yes through the Church God set some rules to help us live close to perfection. He wants us to follow them but He also knows we're only humans and that chances are we very likely will sin a few times (hopefully not too much)!
We should just do the best we can, its already sth. Don't be like, yeah whatever i do i'll be forgiven (cause trust me you'll regret it!) but just make a little effort and try to improve who you are... resolutions 2010!!!

So yes, the Church communicates the rules but under no circumstances has a human the right to judge on a christian's (or other) conduct, whether its a family member or a stranger. It is not your job to do so, but Jesus' mission (as said in the Credo).
1. if you were perfect maybe you could judge that person
2. but a human is by essence imperfect
3. SO STOP JUDGING, IT WOULD ONLY MAKE YOU A HYPOCRITE

I dont know how to make this any clearer but just try to be a nice person its so much easier on you. its freeing to love rather than to dislike!

Prayer

2010-03-11T22:52:00.002Z

I think its important to bear in mind that forms of prayer shouldn't be imposed, it shouldn't be dictated, it should come from the heart. We have to long for prayer in order for it to be the way it should.

What im saying is that God wants a conversation with us, He's not asking us to say a prayer like if it was a poem, it wouldnt make any sense.

If you take me for example, i used to always recite the "Hail Mary" and "Our Father" mechanically but now I actually mean it when I say it and it makes such a big difference, i see it.

You see I read somewhere how we should pray to God:

1. Thank Him
2. Say sorry for the sins you have committed
3. Ask what you want Him to give you
4. Tell Him you love Him

you don't have to make it this way but its just an example i thought it was an easy way to do it, and if you want to, you can always ask Him or the Virgin Mary to guide you through prayer.

Don't forget to thank Him, its sth we so easily forget, i often do!

He's always there

2010-03-11T22:43:00.001Z

Even if you don't feel it, or if you dont believe in Him, He always listens to you, He always pays attention to all of us and no matter how we behave He still loves us, so we should just try to be the best we can... I don't think anyone could ever be perfect!

But try to be the best you can. And ask Him to help you be the best of yourself.

Og Mandino

2010-03-09T20:24:00.001Z

One last thing I wanted to add for today, a few parts of Mandino's book that I find most important as I'm guessing not many have read the whole chapter...

1. "he is not poor who has little; only he that desires much ... and true security lies not in the things one has but in the things one can do without"

2. "Choose to love ... rather than hate.
Choose to laugh ... rather than cry.
Choose to create ... rather than destroy.
Choose to persevere ... rather than quit.
Choose to praise ... rather than gossip.
Choose to heal ... rather than wound.
Choose to give ... rather than steal.
Choose to act ... rather than procrastinate.
Choose to grow ... rather than rot.
Choose to pray ... rather than curse.
Choose to live ... rather than die."

3. "Enjoy this day, today ... and tomorrow, tomorrow"
=> we should stop planning for the future and start living

Sorry...

2010-03-09T19:36:00.000Z

I believe it is a truly important human duty to forgive to the people that have hurt us and apologize to the ones that we have/are Hurt/ing.

It is an essential step towards being a better christian, or human actually...

Now we know we should not judge (or any other "pain-causing" action), well if we have openly, we should apologize to the person. I mean it sounds pretty basic and normal but nowadays (and maybe always) people often are too proud or lazy or mean to apologize.

But it is an essential act to succeed as a human.

I recommend you apologize to the people you love (or not) before its too late. Or else, the day of the judgement you will be sorry you didn't make the effort!

Losing Hope!

2010-03-09T18:05:00.004Z

So yeah, sth I learnt also is that we shouldn't dispair when we don't get what we want right away because eventually we will be answered...

I say this and yet, all of my prayers haven't technically been answered. I mean some of what i've been asking for hasn't arrived yet but for now i received a sign from Him and i have the certainty He exists. Well my fears have definitely been alleviated. And some big questions have been answered.

As for the rest i remain patient.

I don't know where i heard that but apparently one interpretation of why we aren't always answered right away is that He wants us to talk to Him. Even if its just through asking Him stuff which is how most people comunicate with Him. He needs us "like" we need Him.

He's making His pleasure of our company last a little longer. So sweet...

He also wants us to listen to Him and we wouldn't do so if all our prayers were answered right away... But remember that He is POWER and can make any of your prayers come true. However He will do what's best for you, so if you ask for sth bad i'm guessing He won't grant it to you.

So never loose hope in Him. He is always listening...

Stop hurting Him...

My advice, ask Him to give you what you aspire too, and for Him to guide you and to give you what you're ment to receive. Because asking for too specific things like I used to is sort of non-sensical as we don't know whats best for us. Our "opinion" is skewed (=biaisé) and un-objective. Plus it is only based on the past and present, who knows what awaits for us?

We wouldn't want to miss on that... So give Him the chance to "bedazzle" you... And you might be answered faster than if you ask for specifics, who knows?! (I don't!)

Pain

2010-03-08T03:18:00.003Z

We humans dont like this, whether its physical or emotional its not something we deal well with. And we always find a way to blame someone else.

Even I do. Or I used to...

This is why it is so important to realize the counter part of these "epreuves". We should seize the opportunity to get to know God.

Pain is not a punishment its a difficult time but it might be an essential step towards knowing ourselves. Knowing our purpose in life. The greater mission.

Instead of allowing the pain to take the best of us, we should take it as a mean to get closer to God. You might open your door more willingly to God in these times and i seriously recommend you do it!

I know its easy to say because 4 years ago, when I experienced true pain, instead of keeping the door open, i shut it. I started blaming God for it.

I now realize it was not the way. I should've let Him in 10 times more. I should've let Him help me understand this injustice.
I mean I dont understand why such an injustice happened. But I know that the person in question is happier now as he's in Paradise. So I thank God for that. I also thank God for allowing me to get to know his family as I love them as if they were my own.

What im trying to say is that we should accept what happens because whatever we do, we cant change what happend and we should thank God even in difficult times because He's the only one to know what awaits for us and maybe sth good will result from the bad even if it might not compensate.

By thanking Him in difficult times, we allow Him to help us get better. To show us the way. To bless us with other gifts.

Pain is unfortunately a reality; no one can go through life without experiencing it. Some more than others.
But i promise you you should at least give God a chance to offer what He has to offer. you would not be disappointed.

Why wouldn't you wanna try? Fear again?

You shouldnt let fear make the best of you.

And if its a total lack of belief well, I don't know, isn't there a part of you that would want to be proven wrong?

I truely hope so.

You know, when you experience true pain, God will only help you go through it, He will help you overcome it. I can assure you of that.

Dont get me wrong!

2010-03-08T01:44:00.002Z

The right conduct i am "promoting" in this journal is close to my ideal conduct. but in no way am i that good of a person, i wish i was. But i also am a great sinner and often choose different activities than going to see or listen or talk to God.

So I have periods where I am distancing from God more than I am walking towards Him. Mostly out of laziness. Hence my long absence on this journal.

Deep down i know its stupid to grow appart especially after what i've experienced because, lets be honest i wanna live moments like these again, which i can only live if i keep close to Him.

So thats why I've started to write again. A way for me to make sure I stay in touch with Him and spend some time reflecting on life with Him.

So i am happy to be back.

Anyway, with that being said, trust me I get how impossible it must seem for non believers to try and make an effort if for me, a "witness" of the truth, its a struggle to constantly stay "put"... but luckily i came back, the good was stronger than the bad!
anyway just wanted to say that!
cause when im put, like lately, i realise how stupid it is to let myself distance from Him. Life is so much easier when I open my door to God!

Failed attempt

2010-03-08T01:34:00.000Z

I'm sad to say I have failed in my resolution of loving!

I have behaved hypocritly with someone i didnt really like. Shame on me. When I was talking to that person, I was only thinking of bad things about that person and pretending to be nice without even trying to really be nice.

So i'm waiting for the next challenge see if I can improve my ability to love!

Judging makes us worse

2010-03-08T01:30:00.002Z

Actually, earlier I said that when we are judging someone we are just as bad.

But the more I think about it the more I think that by judging someone we become worse than the one we judge. And that, only by the act of judging.

As I said before, who are we to judge? No one.

The person we are judging might not know or understand his behaviour is wrong. Moreover, we might think that person is misbehaving while he/she isn't.

We humans, don't have the authority or the right to judge others. Even if it is an easy thing to do, we all do it, even unwillingly, almost instinctively; it still doesn't make it right.

Instead of judging we should feel sorry and pray for that person because the sin that person is commiting is probably hurting him (sometimes/often without him even knowing it) and if he doesn't have the strength or the knowledge to pray for himself who will?

How will he stop sinning?

Judging was never something God gave us the power to do.

And im not saying its easy in the contrary its really hard. I constantly judge people even when i dont want to but its important to know that we are - by judging - misbehaving which makes us sinners as well.

For those who have faith, it makes us even bigger sinners than the ones we judge as we know of God's love and we know we are not suppose to do so.

Sad Missunderstanding!

2010-02-05T00:31:00.004Z

Talking with my "twin" today again: we came up with this very intersting observation!

The problem today is that very little people recieve a religious education and the ones that do eventually part because it is very rare to be well educated, to really understand what religion really is.

Now, many may contradict me when I say this but I'm giving my point of view - young 23y old girl - and not this super well informed, wise old person or priest/none parent or wathever.

So my point here is the following:
Today, religion is percieved as an institution that forbides or condemns any activity that you see as pleasant. "Tu dois te priver" in order to follow religion. People think its all about sacrifices and you get nothing in return.

Well its sad cause its not the message behind religion. But people that Know talk to people as if the others knew just exactly like them but they don't. Even people that go to mass like me dont really understand. Before my week end I did not understand the priest's point or what he said, and he talks to us as if we understood.

It's like if I was talking with a specialist in finance and that he used only scientific terms. You might as well speak chinese, I'll understand just as much. So in a way, most of the priests I listen to in churches are this way. They forget they are talking to "ignorants".

But religion is not about sacrifices its about love!

You see after my week end, I decided I would try, I said try!,
1. to spend only on necessities for a limited period of time (haven't decided yet, maybe a year!) cause as I said I am/was a very materialistic person.
2. to stop watching tv shows (i used to follow 15 tv shows and was in love with every main character (sad me!) especialy chuck! but anyway tv shows were my life)

So if i tell that to people they're like oh my god, your crazy its rediculous, dont do this to yourself, blabla.

But its funny, cause i'm not making an effort to stop those bad habits, im not doing a sacrifice here, it came naturally, and i feel free-er. the 15 hours a week I used to spend watching my computer I can use them so much more wisely, go for a walk, see some friends, go to mass etc.

Sometimes I would even priviledge my shows over my friends. Pathetic me!

Ok, Well sometimes I feel, oh, would be great to see what's going on lately on 90210 or gg but then I just forget about it.

So my view is that religion does not condemn pleasant activities but if you dedicate some time to religion it opens your eyes to much greater things. It allows you to live instead of being a "spectateur". It allows you to remember what's important and whats not. Cause society today decides what's important for you. We are totaly brainwashed to the extend of losing our freedom and religion gives you back your freedom. It allows you to think for yourself and not think the way you've been told you should think!

Faith ≠ Fear

2010-02-04T17:33:00.001Z

When you truely have Faith, you're not afraid anymore, whether its being afraid of sickness, the future, walking alone in the street, anything really.

When you believe, you know that you are protected throughout everything you do. All basic human fears disapear little by little.

It's wonderful! Haha

Are you gonna be a none?

2010-02-04T17:30:00.000Z

It's so funny, cause when I talk about my experience to some of my friends that don't have Faith, they ask me so are you gonna be a none?!

Inside I think: Haha!

So what I wanna say here, it's that no, its not because you believe in God or love Him or talk about Him that it means you'll be a priest or a none, there are many ways to serve Him.

I mean being a none or a priest is a vocation, He calls you to be that just as He calls people to be a doctor, a lawyer a painter, a writter etc.

Get your head out of the sand!

2010-02-03T01:36:00.000Z

So that is me regarding my studies and my future, for as long as I can remember:

There's like this battle within me where one part tries really hard to make me fail and the other tries really hard to succeed.

Why? (it's a probably)

Fail? Because it gives me this impression of stoping time, defying it
Succeed? Because I want to prove to others that I can do it, that I'm not dumb

Hard to handle!

You see I used the same technic when it came to deciding what I should do with my life.

My mum used to ask me, so what's your plan, you have to start looking for masters or internships... And I know she was doing it for me, but it just made me wanna "vomit", totaly exagerating here but just wanna make sure you get the picture!

So what would I do, just make sure I would watch enough tv shows to not think about anything else. Thank god, I used "innocent" TV, cause some use drugs or other to do the same thing I do. Not think about the problem through any diversion possible.

And in one week end, I understood what listening ment, and I did, and I know now. Some might think the answer I got is just some excuse for bying myself some more time. But its not, I feel I found what I wanted to do, finaly! And even if its a long way to go, i'm still young. And good I found out now and not in 20 years!

Anyway, so tired, cant think anymore

Tell me, what should I do with my life?

2010-02-02T23:43:00.000Z

You see its “absurde” the way we are scared of following His plan, scared of Him telling us the reason we are here for.

Let's face it; we are all always looking for some guidance, some approval. Like from a parent, a boss, a friend, a spouse, etc.

Well, the thing is, He’s the only one to know you well enough to tell you your purpose, your vocation. Some people know it right from the start and it’s a blessing. I met some people that told me: I've always wanted to be a doctor, a banker, a lawyer, a painter, well lucky you. You’ve been enlightened really early! But for most of us, we might struggle all our life before understanding or being revieled on our “vocation”, our purpose. So we are left thinking we are only worth admiring people that do know their vocation.

We try a little bit of this a little bit of that, and eventualy, only if we are lucky, we will find it. But if you like short-cuts, and most of us do. Well just listen. Why do we allow ourself to endure the pain, stress, and feeling of being lost, and a loser for having no passion, no drive? Why don't we try to listen instead of playing "l'autruche"?!

But I mean, how can you have drive if their is nothing to give you that drive? I speak of experience, because all my life I was like ok, I'm gonna end up doing nothing and have my sisters support me financialy cause I'm worth doing nothing, plus I don't like working in an office
plus, there is no way i'll end up using a computer all day,
plus their is absolutely NO WAY i'll work in something I don't like.
I don't have it in me to suck it up and wake up to spend a whole day depressing.

So obviously I thought ok, "je suis foutu! je ne trouverai jamais rien, je ne suis bonne a rien"...

Please love me back!

2010-02-02T23:08:00.000Z

So this is a big challenge for me.
Because in a way, I don't know if I truely loved people for what they were or if I did only to be loved back. I.e. Basically - and its really hard to admit, it makes me a selfish person: everything I hate - I would be nice and "rendre service" as a mean to make people love me, more than to truely please the person in question.

So of course my family and friends, I love them, and I don't question that, but I question my actions towards them. I'm not sure my kindness was for the right reasons. Because if I think of it; I would always be nicer and put more effort into "pleasing" my newest friends than my old friends and family, because those, I knew I had them, I saw them as "acquis"! Whereas the new ones, I needed them to love me!
So embarassing, but so true! So thats my first big challenge in the "learn how to love" mission.

Then there is this hypocrit me, that is nice to people I really really don't like just, again, to make them like me!
So that is my challenge number 2, much harder one as you may understand! I will have to try and find qualities to those people I don't like!

Learning is hard!
But for challenge 1, I already see some changes. So its rewarding
Challenge 2, haven't been confronted to the situation!

We know it but forget it!

2010-02-02T18:02:00.001Z

We should act with people as if it was the last time we would see them...

Hurting

2010-02-02T17:57:00.002Z

Lesson 4 (from Priest):

Remember that people that love you, when/if they hurt you; they never have as first intention to hurt you. Even if they do.

Its a misscalculation or something! Or a little selfish moment!

You're the reason I'm Unhappy!

2010-02-02T17:36:00.004Z

3rd Lesson (from Priest):

It is important not to let your happiness depend on others.

Easy to say hard to apply right!

Well you see the problem is we always blame others for our being unhappy, but its wrong. If you let your happiness depend on others it will only make you vulnerable and unhappy!

You see, we humans, each and every one of us, have expectations when it comes to others. Wether its expecting our parents to be different, our friends not to betray us, our second half to do certain things or act the way we planned him to in our head.

So obviously as you have such high expectations of each and every person in your life you will always, eventually, be dissapointed.

Everyone has different expectations and standards all made up in their head. So if they love you, they will do their best to please you, and prove their love but in their own way.

And their way is not your way, so at some point you will be dissapointed and will blame the other person. But its not that person's fault as he/she did the best acording to his/her standards.

So again keep an open mind and stop expecting from others, stop trying to change people and just love them as they are.

This will eventually make you happier to stop depending on others to be happy. It gives you the opportunity to not be dissapointed.

And again if people do dissapoint you, sieze the opportunity to love that person despite the pain he/she caused you. A new opportunity to learn how to love!

Plug it!

2010-01-25T02:57:00.009Z

we are looking for something without really knowing what it is but as long as we don't find it we won't be happy.

What is it?

of course you know by now, that something is a someone and that someone is God!

its like being in a very dark very large room with a lamp in your hand. Someone tells you that somewhere in the room there is a plug, only one, you believe him, but you're not sure he has your best interest. Is the light a good think for me?
We all know it is but you don't so you wait in the dark for a while.

You have to take a leap of faith, again, what have you got to lose? nothing; we know it but you don't.
so if/when you decide to plug it, in order to do so you search around the large dark room the one plug there is, it will take time to "know" the room but once you do, you'll find the plug, so plug it. And if you don't like the light you can always remove the plug. (but we know that's not gonna happen!)

So, la morale! Obvious indeed but well: As long as you dont plug it, there won't be light, i.e. as long as we are not ''plugged'' to God we wont see the Light, we won't be happy. And its like the lamp, your are free to unplug anytime. (but like the light if you plug it right, you will do everything not to unplug it!)

Dont people say in life you should always try "everything" (i personally disagree but whatever). Well try it, or would you rather die an ignorant.

Make an Effort

2010-01-25T02:43:00.002Z

when i say the first to make an effort its in big "" because he's constantly doing gestures that we dont see but make the effort to let Him in and you will see.

I read somewhere: God will never come in without you letting Him, He will nock but as long as you don't authorise him to come in He'll just stay outside and try again later, hoping that one day, you will open...

What do you mean our Mission is to Love?

2010-01-25T02:40:00.001Z

dont get me wrong when i say our mission is to learn how to love i dont mean you need to make it your profession! haha
but just never forget that you are here to learn how to love, so stop judging or criticising, your hurting yourself more than the person you're criticising.

Stupid human again! We are so funny!

Generation with no Drive

2010-01-25T02:27:00.009Z

I've heard people tell me: its so sad, nowadays we don't have anything to fight for anymore.
-Egalité: "done"
-Liberté: "done"
-...

Youth is looking for an aim. People often complain that our generation is a standby one.

But we have the greatest and most noble mission of all ahead of us, save the world! And nobody before us managed to turn it into a Kingdom of love. So why wouldn't we give it a try. It's a cause worth fighting for!

If only people new that it was this simple to believe, their wouldnt be this much pain. I mean is there anything easier than try to love everyone?

Adults find any excuse to dislike someone, its so sad.
And for whatever goes wrong we blame God, such an easy target as He won't hold it against us... We are so weak its 'desesperant'.

I mean of course, the horrors of war, human and material traffic, and etc. no words to describe how horrible it is. But at a much smaller scale there's us, we are exactly the same, ok maybe we don't shoot or stab people but we always criticise or judge or hate. It's as nonesensical as war. We are participating to this world of hate, contributing to the destruction of the planet and humankind. We are basically all at "war" one way or the other.
WAR:
-between 2 countries
-between 2 people
-within family
-against ourselves etc

something else beautiful, is i think also from chap9 where it says that the fact that there are still children being born means God still has faith in us. so i think it means we really should try to win the battle, if He believes in you, you should too believe that you can change the world and make it a better place.

Even Michael Jackson sang songs of hope but nobody listens people just dance on it!!

Fear II

2010-01-25T01:46:00.001Z

So basically, the greatest cause of my fear was that I didnt know. So I didn't trust, even though I did believe. Because I didn't understand the mission we had and the fact that we have some sort of a path, etc. But when I did, it made it so much easier to trust.

So im really hoping everything im writing is making as much sense to you as it does to me...

Heart of a Child

2010-01-25T01:40:00.008Z

I think that when we were kids, we have been missinformed. And we keep on being missinformed. We are taught to hate more than to love. Humans think love is innate (inné) so it is not taught eventhough it really should be. Through TV for example, there is always someone bad, and we instinctivly hate that person and we are not taught to moderate our feelings. So our ability and urge to love vanishes little by little giving place to an instinct of hate.

You'll see its funny, I'll tell you a story about when I was a little girl. I don't know why I remember it but anyway.

Back in the days! I was this sweet loving little girl, the one I'm working hard to become again! So I was with my mum, and in front of a "mall", there was this beggar in a wheel chair (he used to always be there). He was selling these small drawings, and he asked my mum if she wanted one, she said she would come back after she had bought what she needed. She completely forgot about it. But I didn't, so when I saw she was going to the car in a different direction, I told her: But mum you told le monsieur you would go back, its mean, we have to go or he'll be waiting for us. And my mum must've thought like, shit (gag). But anyway we went back and gave him the money. I think he must've been so suprised. Because everyone says i'll be back but they never are.

And once we grow up, we eventually all end up not having the time or "the money" (hah)to give to others. I have become the same... So you see we had it in us but we haven't been told enough how good it was so now we have to work super hard to be like this again.

The heart of a child is so pure, there's no hate, jalousy, etc etc, until the world perverses it.

It's so funny how we all clame to not be 'influenssable'. And when you tell someone he is or someone tells you you are, you get so offended.
Of course i'm not influenssable. We are such fools, its funny! We are so far from how we were originaly: kind, pure, innocent child.
And then society makes us this popet, and to make sure you are faithful to society, they bomb you with the media and make the unfaithful seem so ridiculous that you work really hard not to be like them!
Its as if we were robots that had been programmed to all aim for MO-NEY because MO-NEY MAKES YOU HA-PPY! We are 'influenssable' beings at its utmost.

And somehow (and that's the sad part) we are much more likely to be influenced to do bad things rather than good things.

PS: Prayer

2010-01-25T01:38:00.003Z

When I say prayer, it doesn't necessarily mean a Notre Père, Je vous Salue Marie, Credo etc, but just a talk, like telling Him to guide you, to show you the way. To tell Him you trust Him.

And never forget to tell Him: "Lord, may Thy will be done" (=Seigneur, que Ta volonté soit faite.)

Illustration

2010-01-25T01:30:00.004Z

Today, at mass, I listened! I love the priest that gave the mass, but anyway not the point. Its funny the "coincidences" cause he was reading from the bible a text about love and some of what was in the text was similar to what the priest had told me during my week end. But I only understood because of the week end, if not I wouldve heard but not listened as it was very 'subtile'! It summarised everything I had learnt during my weekend.

But you see, if you don't know, how are you suposed to understand what it means or how to do it. And thats maybe why some of the people that recieved a religious education eventually part. Because they see religion the way the d wants us to see it, not the way it really is. They see it as boring, time consuming, and painful, etc.

Embarassing

2010-01-25T00:48:00.005Z

It's funny that when I say "I had everything to be happy" I only mention material stuff. Says a lot about our society.

We are dumb enough to believe what everything around us is telling us, that material is key to happiness.

Thank God I had an Einstein moment and realised that it was a lie. But surtout, thank God I had a priest to tell me what the truth was and made it so simple to understand.

I mean, I don't know for you but for me, priests would always make it so complicated and would never get to the point, they would say very interesting things but never really explaining the mission of a christian (any believer probably).

First, as I said, I thought our time on earth was a punishment, a moment of suffering
Plus I did not think I would be "rewarded" for believing in this life time
Finaly, I thought serving God was just attending mass (phisicaly cause my mind was totaly elsewhere) and pray

But then I meet this priest and I learn why we are here: to learn how to love. I mean thank you for finaly telling me what everyone on this planet is wondering

So, I mean, that makes wanting to know God so much easier. I used to think that religion really asked you to slave yourself to it. And that you would not get something in return. (Bad me, you see, we always want something in return! or I)

So thats how I - the so called so religious girl (how my friends used to see me, and still do but its funny to think they did before) - thought of religion before the weekend:

- going to mass: boring
- sacrifices: for what
- giving money at mass: i used to compare that part of religion to sect (blushing right now)
- pray: never answered anyway

However, I knew God existed and did miracles. I knew He loved me (in theory) but I didnt think He had the time for my microscopique problems when the rest of the world was dying

Well I was surprised, cause He does! Lucky me! He has time for anyone that would accept His help, and that would dedicate a little of his time to Him. La balle est dans ton camp mon ami!

Now,
- going to mass: :) and even if the priest was boring i dont go for him, but to spend some time in the house of God
- sacrifices: to help God save the world, He needs us. and its a challenge, i like challenges!
- giving money at mass: I guess its a way of reminding us to be generous and to give money to others instead of keeping it to buy a new bag or something. its always for a good cause, either people in need or the church. Always better than a bag thats for sure!
- pray: it seems like i was wrong again! and so happy to be! I was answered!

Thank You

2010-01-22T01:29:00.002Z

The other day I heard my cousin telling a friend that was going through a rough time to always say thank you to God even if you couldnt see the reason at the time.

I was like ok wiered? Why?

Well if i think about it, i guess, again, we always come back to the love thing! sorry, soon i'll be a walking heart for mentioning the love word so often! Sincere appologies!

Anyway, why? because its through rough times that we most prove our ability to love and its the hardest time, hence best lesson, to keep loving God.

ok bed now, not sure im even making sense anymore...

Fact Sheet

2010-01-22T01:19:00.004Z

In the 50's there where 3STD (MST) in the 2000's there are 40STD (MST) :(

Abortions: 40million a year - i.e. 4'000 per hour :(

Nowadays, 50% of divorces - 3% among marriages that pray together - 0,1% marriages that pray together and live their couple according to the Truth :S

When in love a man develops woman hormones (obvious!) and a woman develops man hormones (not so much!). ;)

Love = ?

2010-01-22T01:12:00.002Z

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."

Both from the bible - Corinthians - Chapter 13 - Love

(the first part also appears in the movie 'A walk to remember')!

Judgement

2010-01-22T00:40:00.006Z

That is only my interpretation so correct me if I'm wrong.

For us roman catholics, we are free up until the end. Meaning once we die we can chose whether we want to go to Heaven or hell.

You must be like hah! who would chose hell right?!

Well i was always scared my soul would chose hell as i have no control over it once im dead! Everybody would tell me that of course i would chose Heaven, but still fear remained.

So the whole love thing makes sense for me regarding that particular moment (again my interpretation so you would have to verify if you don't believe me!)

When you are facing God, His love is so strong and so overwhelming and so much stronger than anything you've ever experienced on earth that if you haven't learnt to love even the ones you despise and treat with contempt; once you will be facing God, you'll just be hurt by God's love.
You will feel little and not worth His love. You don't know how to love Him so you chose hell as you think it will be less painfull than to bear the pain you've caused Him throughout your life. But God doesn't want you to go to hell, He wants to have you with Him as He loves you and created you. That's why we are here on earth. He want's to make sure we can handle His endless love to have us with Him. (very simplified but hard to explain)

And thats the true blessing of my week end i think, and why i feel like i had a glimpse of Heaven. I think the love i felt was not human, it was God making us feel just enough of His love, just what we could handle.

Because, lets be honest I'm not the kind that cries easily. I rarely cry. And for me to cry and to feel guilty for hurting God, is really very totaly unlike me!

But i mean, i can't even believe it myself you know! and worse, putting the feeling into words is like yeah but no. Cause i mean do i sound crazy?!

What if I'm from another religion?

2010-01-22T00:37:00.005Z

Doesn't matter. Our purpose is the same, we all believe in the same God after all, the only difference is the way we practice our religion. But whatever religious education you recieved: You are here to learn how to love. I think anyway. and if you dont feel its the case well just love for the fun of it!

More or less actually!

Cause us roman catholic believe in God, the Holy Spirit, Jesus Christ and the Virgen Mary...

(im a little lost here)

Seeing is Beliving: WRONG

2010-01-22T00:19:00.004Z

People often tell me, yes but unless i have proof i cant believe, but really thats very easy to say, but that's exactly faith: trusting/believing without seeing.

And only once you trust, you will see. I can assure you of it.

you have to take a leap of faith.

i was discussing it with my so called "jumelle banana" who enlightened me on the subject. Having the faith is like being in love, you cant see it you cant touch it but you feel it. its really similar, even though you have to work harder to have faith as we don't have a human relationship with God (even though you can do it trough loving others).
Faith is similar in the way that you won't wake up one morning and believe, just as you won't wake up one day and be in love with a stranger. You have to start to know the person, or God for that matter through prayer or easier, selfless love! The only way to have proof as i did is to have faith really.

And i mean its the simplest of things ever! or not!

cause it took me 23years and I had a religious upbringing! but i didn't trust because i was too scared. but once you do it gets easy!

So we are Clear!

2010-01-22T00:18:00.001Z

just to clarify, when i say i didnt feel loved, it has nothing to do with how people treated me cause my parents and my sisters, cousins and friends have always told me or made me understand that they did but stubborn me had created this idea in my head that i wasn't or didnt deserve to be loved so i didnt accept the love they were giving me!

Funny!

2010-01-22T00:15:00.008Z

Thats how i've been feeling the past few days, thought it was funny so i share!

"je chante la vie je danse la vie je ne suis qu'amour!" (Asterix et Obelix: Mission Cléopatre)

Me = scrib!

Love, tricky one...

2010-01-21T11:24:00.005Z

2nd Lesson (from Priest):

As I said we are here to restore the Kingdom of Jesus, which is a Kingdom of love.

And how would we learn to love si la vie était rose? If everyone instantly loved you back and that there was no bad, it wouldn't be a challenge anymore. Life and marriage are the best platform to truely learn how to love.

Ok so, God will teach us how to:
- love when you don't recieve love back
- to trust when you don't see
- to persevere where others give up

through putting in our lives, these exact people, some that won't love you back, that won't trust or that will give up. Even people that might hurt you. And that's when the challenge and the fun really come in! You must remember that they are not bad people but that its a practical excercise for you to love despite it.
It's God's way of teaching us how to love selflessly.

And if you like learning and you like challenges, take it, i find it super exciting personally, trying to love everyone! I mean i'm so excited. But i realise its not that simple. but thats what im here for, to learn!

Love = serving (selfless act) (don't forget!)

And really don't give up, even if you don't see the result of your loving right away. one way or the other your efforts will always be rewarded.

Quest for Happiness

2010-01-21T11:15:00.004Z

1st Lesson (from the Priest):

Human nature constantly seeks to be happy and everything we do all our thoughts are directed to find this happiness.

As Benedict said: the only way to find hapiness is through God. By following his plan you will be happy.

If you're not ready to do it through God, do it through love. However, Love is not something you should be looking for to make you happy. Love is a selfless act.

Something very interesting I learnt:

Love is not a feeling its a decision.
ie. I can dislike someone but must/should! decide to love him.

Hard one! how to love someone we don't like?
- try to look for his qualities
- give that person a try
- imagine you have in front of you the person you love most on this planet.

The d. (bad one)

2010-01-21T09:36:00.006Z

A friend of mine asked me yesterday after reading the blog: "Do you think God sold our souls to the d? or at least some of our souls?"

You must suspect the answer: no He did not!

How do I know He did not? Because He's our creator and He's the only one to love us selflessly and generously despite all. Whatever we do He loves us. Even the worst creature. He's pure love.

You see as its explained in chapter9 we are the only ones that have the power to decide. While His angels must obeye, you are alowed to chose what you want to do.

The thing is God has made an infinite number of possibilities of life for each of us. And every time we decide to do something that will harm us, He will try to find a good path within the hurtful one.

My cousin was explaining this to me, very interesting you will see! So you have:
Path A: what you have been "designed" to do, your mision in life
Path B: not the first choice but still pretty adequate for your creation
Path C, etc

So basically as you've been created for path A, it is the life that will fullfil you the most and the one that will give you most happy moments, the lower your choice the least close to happiness you will be. But in order to know your path you need to listen to Him. (it sounded better when she said it but its very hard to explain!)

back to the d: the d's strategy is to make you believe religion is boring, that God is boring. His first method to attack is to distance you from prayer

even people that have been raised catholic believe him in some way. If you take me for example, I used to try and find any excuse not to go to mass on sundays (i have to go to mass every sunday) i would say i was tired or wanted to spend some time with my friends, etc.
Also the fact that i didn't wanna trust God completely and was scared to live according to His plan.
However, after this week end its totaly different, obviously! I try to go to church everyday, for a short time of course but I enjoy it, I feel like I've been invited to a friend's house, and i know the closer i get to Him the closer i will be to happiness.

SO: Why did He not sell our souls?
because He loves us
because we are not for sale, we are free
as we are free it is us who decide to be bad and the d. will help us through distancing us from God. He would do anything for us to be bad rather than good

Everyone is creation of God and He does not reject his children!

Stubborn Humans!

2010-01-21T09:03:00.003Z

Another problem with us humans is that most have a really hard time accepting miracles. Even if we saw one we would try to deny it as a miracle and try to rationalise it because our nature doesn't like what it doesnt understand... Also human likes to be in control, we are used to be the strongest on this planet, we rule it, we have control. And really accepting that there is someone stronger than us is not something we like to really believe. So sad! Proud stubborn humans.

I can give you a list of miracles but you will always give me an explanation or rationalise it, still I will give you a few:
- the world (its creation)
- Jesus coming to save us
- All of us for being born
- The changes i noticed in me etc

and that will probably be your answer:
the creation : bigbang theory or something
jesus : doesnt exist
birth: its our parents
me: luck and ready to see it.

and thats where i wanna scream of dispair. How can you be so blind? how can you be so full of yourself as to think that your are everything. well i just wanna say your the loser in the story cause you'll miss out on so many amazing things...

But then again, I understand the dificulty of believing when you haven't been taught about God's existence. But to recieve everything He's sending you must keep an open mind, and what you might wanna call coincidences is actualy a message from Him. So you haven't been taught but I'm here to testify of His existence and you have been blessed as many times as i have but differently. if your not ready to see it, well you probably just ignore it but the signs are there, it tells you in Chapter 9.

Fear

2010-01-20T23:09:00.002Z

I can so imagine you thinking it is too scary to try, I mean even this week end when the priest was asking during mass for the Holy Spirit to let us be guided by God, I was like no way, I don't want to, I'm very comfortable in my misery, why are you trying to change me. But then the more the week end went on the more i stoped being reluctant and my hapiness was happening before i could even realise it.

And i know my experience was special as there were so many things that made my devotion possible. If i was in normal conditions it would've probably been different. But thats the way it happened and that's why i feel my mission is to free the world from their misery. indeed very ambitious cause the world, not so much! but at least my friends, thats a start already!

Dodo for real now

Why Should we not be Scared?

2010-01-20T22:24:00.005Z

two years ago, when God came knocking on my door again i had been told i should tell God that i trusted him and that i would give myself to Him and let Him guide me.

And I was like no way on earth would I do that i don't wanna lose control, and i was way to scared of what he had in mind for me so i totaly ignored what the person told me and kept on living the way i used to. Great success, great move, i lost 2 years of hapiness! anyway probably for a reason!

And then I recieved the gift of understanding, now en 2010! And what a great way to start the new year. I seriously feel like i could conquere the world. I feel so strong and so loved; je pourai deplacer une montagne!

So my advice to you if you want to be able to conquer the world:

give it a try, what have you got to loose? I am the living proof that abandoning yourself to Him is infinitely better than what you have in mind for yourself...

What i'm saying is simple basically trust Him, love Him...
You dont have to make a life comitment. Do it as an experience, aren't we always looking for new sensations, well thats the perfect occasion for you to do just that! But then if you decide to do it, do it like you mean it, put some effort into it!

you know, if you try to accept His love and try to love Him back it wont hurt you cause first, love is everything but painfull and God only wants what's best for you. if you don't like the experience you can always come back from your decision. your not signing a contract for life.

That's the beauty of it, we are free to decide. God created us for a reason, we all have a purpose in life, but as long as you don't listen, He's the only one to know your purpose. And as He created us He knows what's best for us. He knows what will make us most happy. But we are too scared to let Him guide us.

So I'm thinking, tell Him to help you guide you. And say: "Seigneur je t'offre ma journée" and try to live as He would want you to. Loving even the ones you think don't deserve it. Specialy those. And as we all have a guardian angel ask him to hold your hand throughout the day.

You see it's amazing and He's amazing because whatever you do, whatever you think of Him, He will never stop loving and believing in you.

Ok bedtime now, I'm tired... So tomorrow I will be more specific about love and start focussing more on what the priest has told us, as it was truely amazing and I shouldn't be keeping it for myself any longer!

The Miracle of Love!

2010-01-20T22:08:00.007Z

It's so hard for me to try to explain my experience, as we always say, when you witness a miracle, there's just no way you can put it into words.

The miracle I witnessed is not what you would expect it to be, like seeing grass turn into gold or see a human fly but its:

trusting where there was fear,
knowing where there was doubt,
forgiving where there was "grudge!"
acceptance where there was pain, etc...

You see I've spent 10 years praying for the following:
to have self-confidence
to not end up alone
to know what i would do with my life
to stop using food as compensation

i used prayer, hypnosis, psycologist to help me solve all my problems, in vain...

I guess only my prayers were not in vain.
i now realise what i'm worth
i know i will find my soulmate when the time is right (if that is His plan for me of course)
i had a revelation in Heaven and i now know what i must do in order to be happy, or where I sould direct myself to
and i don't feel the urge to eat anymore

but most importantly i know that i shouldn't be scared to trust what God has planned for me, I finally understand and see the benefits of trusting Him...

Kindgom of God

2010-01-20T11:37:00.005Z

Today the planet is everything but what God had planned it to be. Very little people love truely it has become a selfish act where you only love to be loved back. And you only love the people you want to love.
You are jalous of who has more than you, you compete with others instead of working together. You dont let people in anymore out of fear of being judged or betrayed. What does it tell you? When we actually are all equal in the eyes of God, I mean He's telling us to love eachother as brothers and sisters and we are doing everything but...
Do brothers kill each other? (normaly not!)
Do we betray a brother?
Do we judge a brother?
Well we are not supposed to. Who are we to judge when we are just as bad.

Just had a thought, imagine how selfish we are really for what we are doing to the earth, I mean we are distroying God's creation, the reason He created us to share His joy.

Not only are we turning our back on Him by not believing in Him but we are destroying His gift for us, our playground! I mean isn't that the clearest image of how much our system is wrong. (and thats coming from someone that didnt really care about the green cause before today)

In Addition

2010-01-20T11:31:00.005Z

Also, I realise how hard it is to believe when you don't live sth really strong as i did this week end because i've experienced it.
I mean yes people can tell you tons of things and it amazes you but its just for a while, as long as you don't witness His love its really hard to remember or trust but in order to notice it you have to make an effort... it takes 2 to build a relationship and why wouldn't you make the effort to "start it"? ("" because He's already started, He never stoped but you wouldn't believe me so!)

Explanation

2010-01-20T11:05:00.004Z

Yeah, so I just realised that with everything I told you, you must be like: ok she's crazy! Cause if you don't believe its probably not the text I gave you that will change your selfesteem!

You see, I had the chance to spend a week end with 25 young people some my cousins, others that I had never seen before to learn about love and marriage according to church.

I never imagined it would do this to me, i just thought: great, i'll spend time with my cousins that i don't see very often (not enough), listen to the priest, learn but i'll leave what he tought me in a little drawer in the back of my head.
So I really wasn't expecting what i've experienced. I mean this week end was a blessing because as we were all sitting down and listening to him there was such a strong feeling of love and warmth, I wanted to scream and cry of joy all the time, and others told me they felt the same way!

So if you're not reading this for God, do it for love... It's a feeling really worth living and it's not something you can feel in your everyday life, as it was such a pure and generous love!

But just think about it, seriously realise that God chose you and that He died for you, it can not leave you indiferent, I hope...

Purpose of Life

2010-01-20T02:03:00.005Z

Ok so maybe before going to sleep I should enlighten you on our purpose in life. I will go deeper tomorrow but will just give you a little something to keep you thinking!

So humans' main purpose in life is to learn how to love. We must restore Jesus' Kingdom!!
Amazing mission isn't? And seems pretty easy but then its not necessarily.

As we will see along the way, we should love all, not only the people we like plus there is a certain way to love.

Filling the Gap

2010-01-20T01:59:00.003Z

Beatiful saying of the philosophe Pascal:

“There is a God shaped vacuum in the heart of every man which cannot be filled by any created thing, but only by God, the Creator, made known through Jesus”

Meaning: In the heart of men there's a gap, a hole and this gap is shaped in the form of God. You can try to fill it with whatever else, drugs, sex, clothes, any other addiction or vice but you will see that it will only make you happy for a limited time as it does not fit the shape of the gap.

Sharing Joy with a Wall

2010-01-20T01:45:00.002Z

Ok last message before I go to bed (I am so overwhelmed that I cant stop writing).

Ok so here goes,most of the things I will tell you from now on are what the Priest taught us this week end.

He said something really beautiful that made me feel really sad for hurting God the way i did for the past 23 years:

"God created human to share His joy. The beauty of his creation, the world. Just as we call a friend when we are truely happy about something that just happened to us, like graduation, getting married, having a child, etc."

Imagine how hurtful it must have been for Him to see us one after the other just turning our back on Him and not sharing His joy. And don't you just wanna hug Him for chosing you to share his joy?!

I mean I'm imagining myself in His position and lets say I had my child that was born today, that I called all my friends and family and that they all told me listen I don't care I've got better things to do, I would seriously be close to drowning myself in my own tears

1st Change in Me

2010-01-20T01:11:00.001Z

So after my week end in Heaven plus reading chapter nine; Not only did I stop feeling inferior but I actualy felt like I was one of the most precious thing on this planet. I mean God chose me for this journey, Jesus died for me, and I have the great asset of knowing God's existence.

I often say regarding my faith, "je ne crois pas mais je sais". I have been blessed with so many proofs of His existence that I just am incapable of ingnoring His existence anymore.

And in a way, it makes me believing so much easier than for others which is why I wanna help you believe and know He's real as it can only make your life better and happier.